I rarely read Dear Abby but once in a while I see it on the side bar of a news page and a headline catches my eye.
Like this one... someone writing Dear Abby because she is so angry her friends and family are not consoling her more when her cat died. Because, you know, it's EXACTLY like losing a human baby. A child. One you gave birth to. Your own flesh and blood.
Even though she's never actually had a child.
DEAR ABBY: We recently lost one of our cherished pets, our oldest cat, Mandy. We never had children, so our pets ARE our children.
I get that people who have never had pets don’t understand the joy and unconditional love they can bring. But I don’t understand why people we thought were close to us haven’t acknowledged our loss in any way. Some of them have — or had — pets at one time.
A few did send cards or emails, and they were so appreciated. Their kindness will never be forgotten.
Mandy wasn’t sickly. She just stopped eating one day. When we took her to the vet a few days after trying everything we could think of, the diagnosis was kidney cancer. A couple of days later we had to make the heartbreaking decision to put her to sleep.
My question is, am I expecting too much of people? After all, you wouldn’t ignore the death of a human child.
I’m not only disappointed but resentful that these so-called friends and family don’t seem to care. I suppose to some Mandy was “just a cat.” But to us, she was our beloved furry child and we are devastated.
Please inform people that a kind word or short note would mean the world to people like us who are suffering real grief. — DEEPLY GRIEVING IN ILLINOIS
DEAR DEEPLY GRIEVING: Please let me offer my condolences for the loss of Mandy. I know from personal experience what you are going through, and it is very painful.
That’s why I’m reminding readers that when they hear of someone losing a beloved pet, the kindest thing one can do is to offer sympathy with a phone call, an email or a card. Believe me, the effort WILL be appreciated and never forgotten.
"My question is, am I expecting too much of people? After all, you wouldn’t ignore the death of a human child."
NO we would not ignore the death of a HUMAN CHILD.
But you did not have a human child. You had a cat.
"I’m not only disappointed but resentful that these so-called friends and family don’t seem to care. I suppose to some Mandy was “just a cat.” But to us, she was our beloved furry child and we are devastated."
You are resentful of friends and family that didn't make a huge issue out of your CAT passing away by sending you a bunch of cards and flowers and calling you?
Lady, I'm a cat owner. I've had to put a sick cat down as well. I was sad. I cried for 2 days straight. I couldn't hear certain songs without thinking about him and tearing up again. It took me a couple weeks to get over looking for him or getting ready to feed on him on his regular schedule, etc.
Yes it hurts to lose a pet.
BUT IT IS NOT LIKE LOSING A HUMAN BABY YOU HAVE GIVEN BIRTH TO. Don't you EVEN insult mothers and fathers everywhere who have lost a child by comparing it as EQUAL to you losing a cat. That is rude and insensitive! That is AWFUL to compare the two. Especially when you admit you have never actually had a child of your own. You have NO IDEA what it is like to have a baby of your own pass away so how dare you compare them and bitch about how some friends and family didn't make a huge fuss over you.
What a whiny, sorry assed pathetic excuse you are to complain (and think it so important you have to write Dear Abby?) that you are resentful of family and friends who didn't go into mourning with you over your cat.
When our cat had to be put down, our family was sad and hurt. But never, ever did I, or would I expect my extended family or friends to send me a freakin' sympathy card, bring me a casserole or call me bawling over the loss of my cat. It's not their cat.
And we currently have 2 cats that we have had since they were itty bitty newborns who are now 14 years old. They are going to pass away at some point soon... we also have two dogs that we adore and are part of our family but in about 5 or 6 years they will be quite elderly and will pass away..... and NO I WILL NOT EXPECT ANY EXTENDED RELATIVES TO SEND ME CARDS OR FLOWERS OR CALL as I know they would if we (God-forbid) ever experience the loss of one of our human children.
And it just so happens soon after I read this Dear Abby - I had also seen a headline for another news story and read that one... about a wife/mother who was killed in a car accident around 3:00 pm and not 30 minutes later, her 8 year old daughter was getting off the bus from school and was hit by a car and killed. The little girl had just turned 8 years old on Saturday.
This little 8 year old girl with her whole life ahead of her was struck and killed just 30 minutes after her mother was killed in a car accident. Yeah... so not the same as your cat having to be put to sleep. (Story)