It's Just the Coffee Talking
1.28.2007
The Big Breakfast that Never Was

For whatever reason, one early Sunday morning from my childhood stands out in my memory this morning. Truly there is no reason for this memory to crop up except perhaps, that I briefly thought of making a 'big' breakfast this morning for everyone before I did the daily 'kid count' and realized I only have 2 kids here this morning. Coffeehusband has gone to work and Coffeegirl is staying at a friends. No extra kids here this morning either. So... I nixed the 'big breakfast' but the memory stays none-the-less.

When I was 7 we moved into a very old house. Built somewhere around 1910 I believe, we moved in and promptly started to renovate. I have lived in a home that had no walls. Blankets were hung from nails in rafters to make a bathroom around the claw-foot tub and sink. The kitchen sink was jutting from 2X4's at waist high.

I have lived in a house with no floors. The support beams being the only thing between you and the cement dungeon we called the basement. My Mother took me and my 2 little brothers (at that time the baby had no yet been born) to my Grandmothers home for 2 weeks until my Dad could get a floor put in. Our dining room had gaping holes in the wood floor during reconstruction so we had street signs on the floor to cover them. The attic door opened up to .... nothing. The attic didn't exist. If you opened the attic door it swung open to vast space above our dining room.

But ... I apologise, my memories are getting away with me. That background doesn't actually concern the Sunday morning of my current memory although I guess if I post about my childhood very much in the future that background might be well to remember.


(googled this photo of a floor grate)

I was perhaps nine years old. I had moved upstairs into the 'blue' room of our old home. If any of you have lived in a very old home or visited one, you will note they did not have duct work back then. The homes were heated by a central heat source, such as the old Franklin stove in the kitchen and holes were cut in the ceiling to allow warm air to rise to the bedrooms above. An ornate metal grate was put in place over the hole. The scrolls and twirls of the black iron were just wide enough to stop any persons foot from falling through, but wide open to allow heat to filter upwards.

This is what I had in my bedroom. It allowed perfect access to the lower level to throw things on unsuspecting heads, you could see an 8 by 8 square foot area of the room below by peeking through the grates and of course sound carried up quite well as there was literally no floor or ceiling in the way to stop in.

My Sunday Morning Memory starts with me opening my eyes and hearing my Dad in the kitchen downstairs. I looked to my clock and saw it was 6:00 am. I heard the dishes clanging and the voices of conversation, although my floor grate didn't open into the kitchen, but into the hallway area of the living room, the basement and a bedroom, the kitchen and dining were just down the hall from where my floor grate opened. I could hear conversation although I couldn't make out what was being said. They were certainly loud though. Enough pots and pans being clanked around that I knew for certain it was morning my Dad must be making a 'big breakfast' and boy I was hungry!

I got out of bed with a smile on my face and I could almost smell the bacon and eggs frying. I left my room, not bothering to be quiet, for I knew my brothers, across the hall would already be up. I came downstairs and walked through the house to the kitchen expecting to see a full kitchen to match the clamour they were making.

As I rounded the kitchen corner with a smile I was shocked by what I saw.

Nothing.
No one.

There was no one in our kitchen.

My Dad was not making a big breakfast. There were no pots and pans being clanked together. There was no conversation because there was no one there!

Confused I walked to the back of the house where my parents bedroom was. I peeked in and saw them both sound asleep in their beds. I walked back up the stairs and peeked into my brothers room where they too, were both sound asleep in their beds. The house was silent.

Whereas five minutes earlier it was loud enough through my floor grate to wake me from my sleep, it was now dead silent. Not a voice, not a whisper not a click.



And now, years later I often remember that morning whenever I wake on a weekend and consider making what we call a 'big breakfast'. I often remember that 'big breakfast' from my childhood that didn't exist.

But then again... that was not a strange occurrence in our old house. It was part of living in what came to be accepted by all of us, as a haunted house.

Labels: , ,

 

Posted by Meritt at 8:18 AM | Permalink |

Return to Home Page

Stumble It please!

It's Just the Coffee Talking Again...
1.26.2007
Early Morning Coffee

From about 2:00 - 3:30 am I laid in bed and read my book.

I have a dimmer switch on the lamp by my nightstand, but I still feel guilty turning it on during the night when Coffeehusband is sleeping. But I really thought if I read for a little while I could fall back to sleep. Wrong! Oh, I think I might have had I not had this horrible cold... but it was for naught so I gave up and came downstairs. Instead of sleeping I made Zapple Pie Muffins. (Apple Pie for most people but I used my homemade apple pie filling made with zucchini... hence; Zapple Pie Muffins).



Coffee Talk:

Remember my love of the chalk art by Julian Beever? He has some new ones out...

Yes... it's all fake.
All chalk drawings.
There is no water. There is no diving board.


The water looks so real on this one! (It's not). Neither is the hose.



No, there really is no hole in the street. All illusion.


I feel like I could touch that fountain!
Nope... it's just a regular flat sidewalk.



I hope one day to get to see his artwork in person. Maybe.........

Labels: ,

 

Posted by Meritt at 4:25 AM | Permalink |

Return to Home Page

Stumble It please!

It's Just the Coffee Talking Again...
1.25.2007
Something Growling This Way Comes....

In our current house we don't seem to have too many strange occurences. Then again, maybe one a month is a lot to some people. I don't know. It's nothing major and usually it's just strange whistling or voices. The room that gets the most bumps and thumps would be my 16 year olds room. Again, nothing major and most of the time we just ignore it.

From the time we moved in BabyGirls room has had unexplained banging from one of the walls. It's an outside wall on the 2nd floor and it's a new subdivision so there are no mature trees (no trees over 6 feet tall for blocks around us!). There are no tree's or bushes on that side of the house at all, yet at least once a week you can hear banging and thumping on her bedroom wall.

Also, BabyGirl has grown so accustomed to her computer turning itself on in the middle of the night she doesn't even hardly pay attention to it anymore. It happens about 2 or 3 times a week and yet her computer isn't 'scheduled' for any scans or anything during that time and there is no reason for it to turn itself on.

I have heard the thumps and banging myself, as many times I've been alone in house and have had to go into her room for a computer disk or to upload some photos on her computer, or even looking for a blouse or shirt in her room. There is no rhythm or beat the thumping follows and it doesn't happen at any particular time of day or day of the week. It's just one of those odd random things that happens.

Only once has she had what could be described as anything 'scary' and that was just about 2 weeks ago. She and one of our cats were in her room when there was a thump against her doorway and something growled. She and the cat were both startled, but there was nothing 'in' the doorway to be seen! The cat kept staring, and her fur bristled. BabyGirl tried to put the cat near the door to see it what it was but she hissed and ran back into the room and jumped up on a chair and stared at the doorway. BabyGirl and the cat both decided to wait in the bedroom for awhile, so she put a movie in and watched it before she and the cat finally left her room. She never found what it was that growled at her and the cat.

Labels:

 

Posted by Meritt at 5:53 PM | Permalink |

Return to Home Page

Stumble It please!

It's Just the Coffee Talking Again...
1.16.2007

CoffeeGirl went outside to break off an icicle and brought it in the house to 'eat'



Coffeehusband: "You should wash that off first before you eat it!"

Me: "Yeah right! Like you washed your icicles off before you ate them as a kid!?"

Coffeehusband: "Only the yellow ones."






.

Labels: , ,

 

Posted by Meritt at 4:44 PM | Permalink |

Return to Home Page

Stumble It please!

It's Just the Coffee Talking Again...
1.14.2007
Hey! Remember That Eleventh Birthday?

"Hey, remember her eleventh birthday?"

"Oh yeah! The one that was held during the biggest snowstorm thus far in your hometown? You mean the one where none of the parents read the invitation, where you specifically told them they had to stop in at the front desk and sign their kid in before the party and give permission to swim so you had to pretend to be the parent and sign for six of the girls whose parents were too stupid to pay attention?"

"Yeah that one!"

"And the one where the pizza delivery guy forgot the sodas you ordered and paid for, and you had to call him and make him come back and bring them to you when all the little girls were dying of thirst from their spicey pizza?"

"Yeah! that one!"

"And then you opened your Super Nacho's you were so excited to eat because the thought of pizza was gross... and you waited and anticpated it, and then saw it was the driest, grossest, sorry excuse for nacho's that you've seen in your life and they didn't even put any nacho cheese on it!?"

"Um, yeah, that one."

"And that Mom came really early, with her 9 year old son, and they decided to sit at the table and stare at you and the cake the whole time and you knew you should offer food to the son, but the pizza was gone and you never invited him anyway, and the mom was so rude for doing that that you just wanted to scream 'go wait in the lobby by the fireplace and drink coffee then! But go away and stop staring at me!"

"Um, yeah... that. One."

"You mean the one where the beautiful birthday cake ended up face down in the parking lot when a certain birthday child, who insisted on carrying it, decided to hold it with one hand?"

"Yeah."

"And then you got a dirty look from the guy plowing the snow in the parking lot because you swore like a trucker?"

"Yeah... umm. Nevermind."






*edited to add*
Yes this photo was obviously the before photo. The cake landed not only upside down, but sideways too so it smooshed into a big pile of goo. It was not salvagable.

Labels: ,

 

Posted by Meritt at 8:01 PM | Permalink |

Return to Home Page

Stumble It please!

It's Just the Coffee Talking Again...
Sunday Morning......

In keeping with the childhood jiggles we've managed to dig up from the depths of our memories this week, here is another. This has been, um, 'embelished' in the last 15 years to make it more rated R and rated X but the original back in the 70's and 80's was still rather sweet and clean.


Heavenly father full of grace, bless my boyfriends foxy face.
Bless his hair that sometimes curls, and keep him safe from other girls.
Bless his arms I love to clench, and bless his tongue I love to french.
Bless his hands so big and strong, and keep them lord, where they belong.
I love him lord as you can tell, but if my Dad finds out he'll raise hell.
Lord give me strength, and you know why, bless him Lord, cuz he's my guy!


So, did you all just take a mental trip back to 5th grade?


OTHER JUNK TO TALK ABOUT

We were supposed to attend a family reunion in July this year. It's on the other side of the country and would take a whole week of vacation (for Coffeehusband) so yesterday he checked his vacation schedule at work and it seems that week we *need* is taken. That was a bummer but then as he flipped through the calendar he noticed something that pissed him off. The person that already signed up for that weekend actually has 'called' 7 different 'weekends' for the entire year. 2 full weeks and 7 weekends. She did all of this on December 30th. She took almost all the 'good' weekends and weeks throughout 2007.

In this job you get one weekend 'off' every 6 weeks or so. You also can't take any time off or vacations in September, and then again from November 1st through the end of January. It's rather limited. And this arrogant little witch took 7 'popular' weekends and 2 full weeks, and did before the calendar even turned over to 2007!

Dh was pissed. Unless I want to travel across the country by myself with three kids (AGAIN) he can't go. Geesh. With is stupid work schedule over the past 17 years I've not only raised the kids myself, but (and I kid you not on this next sentence;) some of my extended family hasn't seen him since our wedding day in 1988.

When I took the kids to my Uncles ranch in South Dakota 2 years ago he joked about the fact that maybe I'm not even married! Maybe I just made the whole thing up and I don't even have a real husband! Except, he did see him at our wedding 18 years ago. LOL.

Not sure what we'll do about this one... but anyway!


Family Stuff calls... more later!

 

Posted by Meritt at 10:20 AM | Permalink |

Return to Home Page

Stumble It please!

It's Just the Coffee Talking Again...
1.13.2007
True Story... Just now!

I just was laughing and had to share this - now keep in mind something ok? I love doing survey's and giving my opinion. I do online surveys, I do in person surveys, I will even do about 1 out of every 3 phone surveys because I really DO love to give my opinion. Knowing this, read what literally just happened and what I had to say (while trying to hold back laughter);


Just now the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Aalo! My name is gyeiuriewuroiewjfi and I work for weiorjhgnsiodfjoiewjrowe and we are conducting a survey for owehrjorjoiwejgfoiwer and woierewojrf not a sales oieroejroiewjrfo but is weoiruweioj weoirjwoe eirhgoetrio joirjto4j oierjtrj oijewrtoij4w. Are you between the ages of weiorjewrj and woeirujj?

me, laughing while I say;

"Omgosh! I'm laughing at the fact that an American company not only is outsourcing this work to another country, but has chosen a country that doesn't even remotely speak English. The fact that they are paying you to call for what I believe is a survey, but I'm not even completely sure for what or for what company because I could barely understand one third of anything you said. No... I cannot do a survey when I can't even understand you!"

LOL.

and I hung up.

Labels:

 

Posted by Meritt at 12:47 PM | Permalink |

Return to Home Page

Stumble It please!

It's Just the Coffee Talking Again...
1.11.2007
You'll Never Believe I'm Catholic When I Recite This One....

We started off innocently enough with the "you're not the boss applesauce" ditty below after I found it on a t-shirt and it reminded me of the childhood rhyme that went with it. I warned you I knew more, not appropriate for children.

Well, in 8th grade I learned this one, and for whatever reason, my 36 year old Catholic Mom brain still remembers it.



"I'm a mean mother-fucker,
I'm a jungle man
I walk through the jungle with a club in my hand.

Looked up in a tree,
What do I see?
There's a monkey tryin' to piss on me!

I picked up a rock
Hit him in the cock,
Now he's doing the
Jungle Hop.

Walked to a clearing,
what do I see?
A hundred naked women
waiting for me!

Fucked ninety-eight till my balls turned blue,
backed up,
jacked up,
and fucked the other two!"




And yes, I admit that I learned it in a very strict Catholic School.
Oh gracious... what kind of google hits am I going to get now?

Labels:

 

Posted by Meritt at 5:37 PM | Permalink |

Return to Home Page

Stumble It please!

It's Just the Coffee Talking Again...
What Are You? Like.... Four?



I was surfing online last night and came across a t-shirt (see visual aid above). I smiled. OMGosh I haven't thought of that in years... and years and years! (Remember my kids are 16, 14 and 11).

Suddenly in the blink of an eye I was four years old again and living in a tiny tiny itty bitty town in Iowa no bigger than my thumb. It was the early 70's and of course things were a bit safer back then, so I could leave my house and wander around the neighborhood all day, eat some onions and carrots from a neighbors garden and call it 'lunch', pee in the old tire between the garages at another neighbors house, and never have to go home until dinner time. I also got to hang out with all the neighborhood kids, ages 3-12.

One of them, although I don't remember which, painstakingly taught me that little "your not the boss applesauce" saying. I remember them making a fist when they said it, and I, with my little four year old pudgy hand, tried to copy them.

They must have had the patience of a saint because I remember making them repeat it over and over and over and over until my little four year old brain 'got it'.


You're not the boss applesauce!
Understand rubber band?
Don't get wise bubble eyes,
Or I'll knock you down to peanut size!



I was so proud when I finally memorized it.

Of course the longer, more dirty little ditties I learned a few years later were a bit more interesting, but I'll save that one for another day.

Labels: ,

 

Posted by Meritt at 8:27 AM | Permalink |

Return to Home Page

Stumble It please!

It's Just the Coffee Talking Again...
1.10.2007
A Personalized Romance Novel for Valentines Day






Looking ahead at Valentines Day....
it's going to be here sooner than you think!
Did you see these?

Personalized Romance Novels! A romance book staring YOU and your partner!

(ER Fever, Western Rendezvous, Vampire Kisses, Love's Next Door, Medieval Passion, Tropical Treasure or Pirates of Desire)

They also have books for kids like;











Labels:

 

Posted by Meritt at 7:17 AM | Permalink |

Return to Home Page

Stumble It please!

It's Just the Coffee Talking Again...
1.07.2007
Coffeekid Goes Shopping

Coffeekid and his Best Friend went to the mall yesterday. They actually ended up shopping... the first time he and a friend ever went shopping by themselves.

It was obviously a 'teen boy' shopping trip when Coffeekid proudly comes home with this;



And his best friend sported a "JUMP if you're wearing a mini-skirt" t-shirt.

Labels: , ,

 

Posted by Meritt at 7:48 AM | Permalink |

Return to Home Page

Stumble It please!

It's Just the Coffee Talking Again...
1.01.2007
What to do if bitten by a python

Snake Story Here

Ok people - I hate to see pythons and boa's mistreated... so on the off-chance that any of you are ever in the wraps or jaws of a python, don't hurt it, kill it or taser it for pete's sake. Just have someone go get a tissue and put some rubbing alcohol on it. Place this up near the snakes nose. The smell of the alcohol will make the snake release it's grip and let go.

Labels:

 

Posted by Meritt at 3:10 PM | Permalink |

Return to Home Page

Stumble It please!

It's Just the Coffee Talking Again...