It's Just the Coffee Talking
4.30.2007
Results from Hand Sanitizer Tests

I'm going to pass this information along just because the more places it's at, the more people can see it. We all use hand sanitizer at one time or another... now you can see how well yours tested! Unfortunately they didn't test the Bath and Body Works that I use, but the ingredients in mine tested well, so that's a good sign!


Here are the results of the tests:

CONTROL BATCH:

 * Control batch of 64 percent Ethyl Alcohol –- showed significant reduction of bacteria count after use.

 * Control batch of water -– showed NO reduction of bacteria count after washing hands with water.

 * Control batch of 64 percent Ethyl Alcohol with glycerin –- showed significant reduction of bacteria count after use.

PRODUCTS:

 * Lucky Hand Sanitizer -- showed little to no reduction of bacteria count after use.

 * Sani-Doo Hand Sanitizer -- showed little to no reduction of bacteria count after use.

 * April Bath & Shower Hand Sanitizer –- showed little to no reduction of bacteria count after use.

 * American Red Cross -– showed significant reduction of bacteria count after use.

 * Purell -- showed significant reduction of bacteria count after use.

 * "Pure" Generic Hand Sanitizer -- showed little to no reduction of bacteria count after use.

 * Family Dollar Generic Hand Sanitizer -– showed little to no reduction of bacteria count after use.

 * Target Generic Hand Sanitizer -- showed significant reduction of bacteria count after use.

 * CVS Generic Hand Sanitizer -- showed significant reduction of bacteria count after use.

 * Walgreens Generic Hand Sanitizer -- showed significant reduction of bacteria count after use.

 * Rite Aid Generic Hand Sanitizer -- showed some reduction of bacteria count after use.

 * Personal Care Hand Sanitizer -- showed little to no reduction of bacteria count after use.

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Posted by Meritt at 5:53 PM | Permalink |

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It's Just the Coffee Talking Again...
4.18.2007
What I Really Mean......

1. FINE:
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes:
If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five Minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. Nothing:
This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" always end in "fine".

4. Go Ahead:
This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5. Loud Sigh:
This is not actually a word, but is a nonverbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6. That's Okay:
This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. Thanks:
A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say, "you're welcome."

8. Whatever:
Is a women's way of saying UP yours.

9. Don't worry about it, I'll do it:
Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "what's wrong", for the woman's response refer to # 3.

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Posted by Meritt at 9:20 PM | Permalink |

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It's Just the Coffee Talking Again...
I'm Sorry... I'm Too Busy to 'work'

My Wife Doesn't "Work"
By Gary Lautens


Is there anything more embarrassing today than being married to a woman who doesn't "work?"
Take Jackie.
She weaves, spins wool, attends classes twice a week at art college and is currently putting together a seven- foot tapestry she designed for the living room. She also whips up a hundred meals a week, irons a dozen shirts, waxes and washes the floors, walks the dog and throws a dinner party once a week.

But she doesn't "work."

She feels a minimum of two foreheads a week (to see if they're warm), listens to enough homework to get a degree from Oxford, runs the family budget, finds things in the basement no other living human being can find, reminds Richard to comb his hair every morning, cheers up Jane when she gets a zit on her face and refinishes furniture.

She does the shopping, locates the bargains, washes gym stuff, keeps track of everybody's underwear, answers family mail, makes certain nobody leaves a ring around the bathtub and takes care of minor medical problems.

But she doesn't "work."

She cuts hair, cleans the filter on the furnace, clips the dog's nails, provides waltz lessons for male members of the family, vacuums, puts treats in school lunch bags for a noonday surprise, hangs up coats, rubs feet when they get cold, provides laughs whether needed or not, removes splinters, gives instruction on the application of eye shadow, announces if it's a boot day, smiles through the recounting of old Monty Python skits and files class photographs.

She doesn't let anyone out of the house without a hug; she tucks Jane into bed every night (even though Jane is fourteen and almost as big as her mother); she knows the postal rates, moves sofas, listens solemnly when someone in the house says he or she is going to be Prime Minister, a famous athlete or just an astonishing detective (Richard's current ambition); she hangs pictures (eighty on our one wall), sews on buttons, visits art galleries.

But "work"? I'm afraid not.

Jackie lengthens jeans, unplugs plumbing, remembers to serve spaghetti once a week (the kids' favorite), picks out newspaper items that might make columns, does thirty sit- ups every morning to stay trim, explains patiently to Richard why he can't wear the same shirt eighteen days in a row and makes Christmas cards.

Mind you, she doesn't jog three times a week now, act as lifeguard at the Y, or take German at night school, and her university class on great books is over.

But she did broadloom Jane's bedroom, make our front- room coffee table (from an old dining-room suite), and (just last week) figured out how to replace the bulb in our slide projector when Daddy had failed.

That is, unfortunately, beside the point.

Jackie does not go to an office, perform brain surgery, drive a truck, belong to a union, type up letters, sell real estate, host a TV show or even wrestle.
In short, she doesn't "work."

Mind you, she did "work" the first three years we were married and trying to get a start, but she quit a month or two before she had Stephen.

So she's just a homemaker, wife and mother now.

Perhaps one day when the kids are a little more grown up, Jackie will "work" again, but in the meantime, I'm afraid she's too busy.

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Posted by Meritt at 12:44 PM | Permalink |

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It's Just the Coffee Talking Again...
4.13.2007
The First Lesbian Barbie? ( and Her Similarity to Brooke Hogan)

Yesterday while surfing some 'celebrity' sites I came across a photo of Brooke Hogan (Hulk Hogans daughter - somehow that makes her a celebrity?). I instantly thought of an old imitation Barbie doll I was given sometime around 1976 called "Dusty" and how similar she looked to her.

Does anyone else remember Dusty? She was the 'larger' 'sportier' version of the girly-girl Barbie. Dusty was almost 12 inches tall, had a stockier build (more like Ken... with almost no discernable waist) and she came with sporting goods. I got the golfing Dusty first, but it was a piece of crap. Some weird sticky jelly like substance was leaking from her insides and her body wouldn't twist. My parents bought me another Dusty doll - tennis version this time - and same thing. She couldn't move well and really, was quite ugly (!!!). I think she lasted all of what? A year before she disappeared off the shelves. She couldn't even wear Barbie's clothes... she fit into all of Kens. Looking back now as an adult, she probably could be a pretty good lesbian barbie. There may be a market there. It's time, right? (Then again, there already may be a market for that... I have no idea. I'm a total 'girly girl' Barbie doll person. I love Barbies! And not the ugly newer 'My Scene' version either!)

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Posted by Meritt at 8:19 AM | Permalink |

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It's Just the Coffee Talking Again...