2.05.2016

"I'm the strongest coffee you can buy!" "No! I am!" "NO! I AM THE STRONGEST BLACK COFFEE YOU CAN BUY!"


Last night I was reading the news and saw a little fluff entertainment article that, well, had a cute picture of a baby so I was a sucker and clicked on it.  The article mentioned in passing the coffee this actress was drinking.  She was drinking it because she was so exhausted and she can't live without her coffee... but it was decaf.  Hmmm.  I wonder if anyone explained to her how that works?

This morning I remembered that as I sat down at the computer with my morning brew (NOT decaf, because I really do need the pick-me-up) and I decided to check Amazon for a few of the strongest coffees available through their site.

I kind of chuckled.
  
It apparently is a pissing contest between companies on who has the strongest coffee you can legally buy... and many are claiming to be THAT ONE.

 
I've talked about Death Wish Coffee before.  I actually have it available on the right sidebar of my page as a featured coffee.

Death Wish Ground Coffee, The World's Strongest Coffee, Fair Trade and USDA Certified Organic - 16 Ounce Bag

About the Product

Stay awake with The World's Strongest Coffee.
Death Wish Ground Coffee has double the caffeine of your average coffee
If you are not completely satisfied, we'll refund your order. No questions asked

They also have Death Wish Coffee Single Serve k-cups
About the Product
  • The world's strongest single serve coffee capsules
  • Our coffee is roasted with state of the art equipment to ensure quality and consistency
  • 60 day money back guarantee if you are unsatisfied for any reason
  • Our beans are fair trade and certified organic
  • Our capsules are made out of recyclable material
  • The world's strongest single serve coffee capsules^Our coffee is roasted with state of the art equipment to ensure quality and consistency 60 day money back guarantee if you are unsatisfied for any reason^Our beans are fair trade and certified organic^Our capsules are made out of recyclable material


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Banned Coffee | The World's Strongest Coffee | Super Strong Caffeine Content | Our Best Medium Dark Roast | 1 lb Ground

Their product description:

Banned Coffee uses a phenomenal blend of Extra Strong High Quality Medium to Dark Roast beans created by our Roasting Master, using the best Coffee Beans from the most prestigious Coffee Farms in the world. We know you want a caffeinated beverage that packs an ungodly jolt of energy strong enough to power the electrical grid of a small city, but you also want it to taste Great! Unlike most ultra-strong coffees on the market we don't "Over-Roast" our beans to make them Strong, because it removes the fresh Aroma of the beans, gives it a burnt flavor and actually removes some of the caffeine too. Banned Coffee is not only the World's Strongest Coffee, but also a delight to the taste buds.

BANNED COFFEE - Should humans even drink it? Depends. Do you arm wrestle gorillas? Do you like being strapped to the outside of a Jet Fighter's wing? Is your idea of fun swimming with sharks while simultaneously having juicy steaks strapped to your body? If so, you might have what it takes to be a regular Banned Coffee drinker.

BANNED COFFEE - 8 Cups of Coffee in one big serving. At the office, we're pros. One large mug of coffee (18 ounces) is the same as drinking 8 cups of normal regular-human coffee. Who has time for 8 cups? Not us!

BANNED COFFEE - Not only the strongest coffee in the world, but also the best tasting coffee. That's our opinion. Find out for yourself. Warning: Adding a little French Vanilla or Hazelnut creamer might make a serving of Banned Coffee way too blissful and addictive.

BANNED COFFEE - We use re-sealable bags with one way valves to keep your Coffee fresh for as long as you dare to keep it.

Banned Coffee is Proudly Roasted in the USA by Independent Artisan Roasters.


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Shock Coffee® The Worlds Strongest All Natural Coffee - 13oz Valve Bag

Product Description

Size: Ground 13oz - 1 pack

Shock Coffee is the producer of the world's finest energy blend coffees and coffee drinks. Our coffee comes in whole bean or ground and is exclusively available in a high caffeine energy blend. We don't add any caffeine to our coffee and we select coffee beans for their taste and caffeine content. At Shock Coffee, we firmly believe that Sleep is Overrated and one sip of our coffee will make you a believer, too. Shock Coffee will add hours to your day and make you more productive without the jitters. Many other high caffeine options out there haven't been able to perfect the taste to caffeine ratio, so you're left feeling unsatisfied. That has been our priority since day one and our loyal fans and the media have agreed by helping to make Shock Coffee the #1 energy coffee of the US Military and one of the world's top selling energy blends since '06. Since Shock Coffee's launch, many coffee connoisseurs have dubbed it The World's Strongest Coffee. In fact, in recent testing against Starbucks, Dunkin' Donuts, and Death Wish Coffee, our blend's caffeine to flavor ratio stood out time and again.


As featured on: The Today Show, CBS Marketwatch, Food Network, CNBC, Nightline, ABC New York, Newsday, Daily News, CBS, NBC, Fox News Seattle, and more.

(I do need to note that I noticed the reviews on Amazon for this product are overwhelmingly from people who received this product for free or a reduced price in return for a review... )



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Product Description

Destroy all of your enemies with the powers that Radioactive Coffee can give you! THE STRONGEST COFFEE LEGALLY SOLD is Extra Bold, Dark Roast Coffee with all the boost that you need to keep you at maximum performance anytime day or night.

Myth has it that Radioactive Coffee is made in a "secret government lab", the birthplace of many superheroes that you know and love. One day, the secret coffee formula was brewed by mistake and accidentally drunk by one of the scientists. That scientist became Radioactive Coffee Man with the powers to vanquish all the evil that came his way!

If you've tried Death Wish (and decided that you would rather live without it), Kicking Horse (and passed on the pony ride), Black Tiger (and weren't intimidated by the pussy cat), Jet Fuel (and thought it couldn't even fuel a scooter), Napalm (and got burned), or other "strong" coffees (and couldn't feel any effects from the brown water), then Radioactive Coffee is for you! Drink Radioactive Coffee, THE STRONGEST COFFEE LEGALLY SOLD, you'll feel the superpowers from the first sip!

Radioactive Coffee is THE STRONGEST COFFEE LEGALLY SOLD! Any stronger and it would be illegal!

Radioactive Coffee Single Serve Cups are compatible with all Keurig K-Cup Brewers, including the new 2.0 brewers. Includes 12 Single Service Cups.

(As of this posting there are no reviews on the page for this product.)

I'm sure there are probably a couple more on Amazon that are claiming to be the world's strongest coffee but I just picked these at random and figured comparing 4 of them was a long enough post.