2.04.2016

In Which Mr. Coffee and I Have a Sports Conversation about the SuperBowl (when I know nothing about the Superbowl. Or sports. Or players)


Note:  I don't do sports. I don't play them. I don't watch them. I don't care about them.

No really. I'd rather do almost anything than watch sports. Preferably read or research. 

Picture Hayden Panettiere's character on Remember the Titans talking football nonstop...  that would be me, Nicky Boone on the left (and it has been me many times as I quote;)  "I. Do. Not. Care."






So here was a portion of tonight's dinner conversation as it was just Mr. Coffee and I here tonight.


Mr. Coffee:  So, off the top of your head, without thinking about it, who do you think will win the Superbowl?
Me:  Umm. Panthers.
Mr. Coffee:  Why do you say that?
Me:  Honestly?  Because I wouldn't think of who else was in the Superbowl this year.
Mr. Coffee (shaking his head and laughing at me)
Me:  But I remember now!  Broncos.
Mr. Coffee:  yep.
Me:  Since neither of them are your team, and you don't really care either way, who do you want to win?
Mr. Coffee:  Well...  I'd like to see Peyton Manning go out on top...
Me: Is he retiring?
Mr. Coffee:  Well... no.  But he's been in the NFL for 19 years so, if they did win, I don't know, maybe he would.
Me:  Nineteen years!?  Well it's time then!  He's been in long enough.  He should retire.
Mr. Coffee: (laughing again.)
Me:  Wait.  He's been 19 years?  What is he a quarterback?
Mr. Coffee: Yes.  He's a quarterback.
Me:  Ah.  That explains it.
Mr. Coffee:  Explains what?
Me:  How he can be in the NFL and not be all broken up yet!
Mr. Coffee: Well, he's had like, 4 neck surgeries and I think has some nerve damage.
Me:  Well, then he needs to get out of the NFL.  It's time.
Mr. Coffee: He and Eli have both won superbowls already.
Me:  Who is Eli?  His son?
Mr. Coffee:  (Laughing at me yet again) No.  It's his brother.
Me:  His brother is in the NFL too!?  My gosh.
Mr. Coffee: (Laughing)  His son!?  Bah ha ha.
Me:  Why is that funny?
Mr. Coffee:  (mimicking me) "Is that his son?"
Me:  Well, it could be.  That's not even funny.  But two of them in the same family?  Yeah, they can get out of the NFL.  They've made enough money.
Mr. Coffee:  Well their Dad was Archie Manning.  He played for the Vikings from...  
(blah blah blah is what I heard because I zone out with football details and the Vikings are my husbands favorite team.)
Me: So their DAD was in it too!  So that's why both boys are in the NFL.  Their Dad was.  It's who you know.
Mr. Coffee: No... they're good!
Me:  (Give him that look)
Mr. Coffee:  No really...  well, yeah it can be who you know but no... they really are good.
Me:  Ok.  Well that's fine but it's been long enough if it's been 19 years.  Is he not quitting yet because he can't do anything else?
Mr. Coffee:  No!  He could do lots of things.  Almost any thing he wanted.  Actually, he would be a great commentator.  He's pretty funny.
Me:  He's funny?
Mr. Coffee:  Yeah.  He'd be great at commentating.

At this point I got up and started to clear the dinner dishes.

Mr. Coffee quietly starts laughing to himself and mimics me again;  "Eli?  Is that his son?"  and bursts into laughter.

Mr. Coffee:  You should have a sports talk show.
Me:  Yes! I should! 
Mr. Coffee:  That would be funny.  You talking about sports.  But it would be a popular show.
Me:  You think?
Mr. Coffee:  Yeah.  You make comments like "Is Eli Manning, Peyton's son?"  and the switchboards would sure light up.  You'd have lots of callers!