Hon, I know where we keep everything in the house. I live here, remember? Said no husband ever.

This morning an online friend mentioned to me her husband asked her what day their pick up is.
They've lived in their current house over eight years.  And he still doesn't remember which day trash comes even though it's been the same schedule for the full eight years.

And I chuckle because we've had that conversation.  A few times.

Not only does he not remember scheduled dates; but when my husband decides to help unload the dishwasher, I know without a doubt he won't know where even 'heavily used, every day items' go - even though we've lived in our current home 7 years.

When he takes something out of a drawer to use it, lays it on the counter and comes back later to put it away (bottle opener, I'm talking to you), he will have taken it out of a drawer that has perhaps 12 openers in it and puts it away in a different drawer - with ZERO bottle openers in it.

But not only fails to realize he's found it in the same drawer for almost 7 years, taken it out of the same drawer for 7 years, has seen 12 openers in the same drawer for 7 years... if and when he DOES put the bottle opener away (which is perhaps 50% of the time) he'll put it in a different drawer - one that there are no other openers in but fails to realize that either.

If he is going to help clear the kitchen counter and it has say... a food processor, toaster or blender on it, "Hon, where do these go?"

Seven years.  They've gone in the same cupboard for seven years.

Sometimes he looks at me dubiously after I answer.
I don't mix it up just to try to fool you!  They really have gone in the same spot for seven years!

Once I pushed the toaster 'back' about 12 inches to the back of the cupboard instead of the very front.  He opened the cupboard, didn't see the toaster, closed the cupboard and asked me where the toaster was.

One of the current mysteries in our home is due to the fact he unloaded the dishwasher and I had happened to make cookie dough that day so the paddle attachment was in that dishwasher load.  I wasn't in the kitchen when he put dishes away and I didn't think anything about it until a couple days later when I needed the paddle attachment.

I looked in the correct spot and it wasn't there.
I looked in the most likely spot he would have put it.  And it wasn't there.
I looked in unlikely spots that he would still have put it.  And it wasn't there.

Over the next two or three weeks I would randomly keep my eye open for it to pop up somewhere unexpected as I was cooking and baking other items.  It never did.

I asked him about it a couple times and he couldn't recall where he would have put it.

One day I took everything out of every cupboard, determined to find it.
I looked on every shelf of the food pantry, in the refrigerator drawers, on the extra shelving unit in the laundry room where we keep appliances we don't use as much, like the food sealer, the food dehydrator and the huge 'lobster pot' and nice serving platters.
I was on my hands and knees peering into the back of lower cupboards; climbing on the counters to peek into the very back of the highest of cupboards.  I laid on my stomach to look to the very back of the lowest shelves.

I never did find the paddle attachment to my mixer after Mr. Coffee helped put the dishes away.  It's still lost to this day and it's been about two years.

My knowledge of where things are in the house is NOT only due to the fact I myself put them there.  He puts something down somewhere and immediately forgets - I'll usually know where those things are too. It's just that I notice things.  I also am the one cleaning, picking up and putting things away (because I see the clutter... he doesn't).  So if I'm putting the paint rollers away on a shelf in the garage, I can't help but notice the other items sitting next to the painting bin on the shelf in the garage.  How can you not notice what is literally right next to you?
  • The duct tape is on the black shelf in the garage; standing in front of it, it's on the left, top shelf, right next to the extra glue strips.  
  • The paint sprayer we are letting someone borrow (I bought it for a project about 6 months ago that I never used it for) is on the bottom of the black shelf, next to the painting bin, right next to the deep cycle marine battery and power inverter. (How do you know?  Because I saw it there! Why did you notice that? How do you not?)
  • The beach towel our daughter needs is in the upstairs hall closet on the bottom shelf where they've been kept for all 7 years we've here.
  • The attachment for propane blow torch is in the kitchen drawer.  Yes it is. Yes it is. Yes... it is.  Because I saw it there last year when I was looking for something else and unless you took it out, it's there.  Ok, I'll go look myself.  And... within about 6 seconds of looking, I pulled it out and handed it to him.  :)
  • A pan to put the salmon from the grill?
  • A pot to boil ingredients to make his home brewed beer?

And always always always and ongoing....

  • His wallet
  • His keys

Your blue shirt with the stripes?
The rubber spatula's?
The measuring spoons?
The vacuum?
Mineral spirits?
Extra Q-tips?
Athletic tape?
Duct tape?
Beach chairs?
Paint brush we should use to finish the deck?
A fresh pillowcase?
The 6 foot ladder?
A small washer that will fit this screw?
Extra Christmas bulb fuses?
A new jar of peanut butter?
The Goo Gone?

"I don't know how you know these things...."
"I don't know how you don't!"