They're called "MAN HOURS" because a woman would have had that shit done in 20 minutes.


This morning Mr. Coffee and I were having a discussion about some of the projects, tasks, maintenance, etc. around here.  I was getting ready to run errands to the nursery to order another 3.5 cubic feet of gravel to be delivered, to Lowe's for weed killer, paint and plants, Walmart garden center for 8 bushes.  Painting the patio furniture, painting the family room wall, cleaning the carpet, hanging the picture frames and wall decor... on top of the cooking, house cleaning, laundry, bathroom cleaning, grocery shopping... and more.

So this morning I finally brought up the fact that the ONE project he's been 'working on' for SIX WEEKS is taking too long and he has got to step up and help with the 200 other projects that need to be done.

For the record, that project is that I bought an unfinished cornhole game board that just needed to be stained and finished.  A two or three day project.... I thought.  He's now managed to spread this project out to something he's been working on for like, 6 weeks.  He decided to use gunstock oil to finish it instead of polyurethane or other varnish.  Fine.  I've used gunstock oil on a table - I did a thin layer to seal, followed up some quick additions and boom. Done. 

His projects however, normally take about 15 times as long as the normal person.  I KNOW this about him. I love him anyway.  So I haven't said much up to now.  But this week when he's been down working on it for another 1 1/2 hours and I stand there and watch him (he doesn't know I'm here) I see him dribble a few drops of oil on the fabric and slowly and methodically rub it in, in circles and swipes about 4 inches wide...  NO WONDER it's been 6 weeks and there is NO END IN SIGHT.

That whole "takes 15 times longer than average" thing?  Not making that up.  I'll never forget when I was busy running from one task to another one day and saw we had a light bulb out in one of the rooms.  I asked "Can you put a new light bulb in?"  He stopped, thought for a moment and said, "Yeah, I'm off on Tuesday so I can do it then."

I KID YOU NOT.  Obviously I had a #WTF? moment and changed the light bulb myself in like, 15 seconds.  I don't need to schedule an entire day off to change a fricken light bulb.

SO....  this morning as I wanted help with landscaping, weed control, painting the deck, anything BUT those darn cornhole boards;

I asked him how many layers he thinks the boards will need to be done. 
He wants them to have about 20.
I asked him how many layers there are currently on the boards?
About thinks about 8.

Oh good gracious.

So I told him no.  He cannot do this ONE project for 1-2 hours at at time, 3 times a week for the next month, while I'm left doing literally everything else in the entire household that needs to be done.  I need his help on the OTHER 17 projects that are taking priority right now.


Silence. Then a sigh.  Then.....

"Ok where's the list?"
"What list?"
"The list of what needs to be done."
"There isn't a list.  There's a hundred things that need to be done."
"Well show me a list."
"There isn't a list because you and I haven't sat down to make one.  You can just look around to see what needs to be done.  Or... we can make a list together if you want."


"But you always have a list."

Tonight after dinner... I'm making a list.