12.09.2019

Rambling Over Coffee - Venting is more of a personality thing, I think


Good Morning Coffee Friends!

It's a Monday morning and although I was wide awake from 12:30 am to 5:00 am, I did go back to sleep from 5:00 - 6:30 am so that is a tiny little glorious sleep that will get me through the day.  With the help of coffee, of course. (Oh, I was awake and reading!  No worries or anything.  I'm just in the middle of some really good books right now and I'm a geek like that.  I just couldn't go back to sleep and I wanted to read!)

I don't actually have a topic in mind for this morning, so let's just chat, shall we?

Regarding my last post:  I woke this morning thinking I probably sound angry in some of my rambling, venting posts... but the funny thing is, if you could hear me saying them instead of reading them, you would know I'm usually more flabbergasted and laughing and shaking my head while I ramble and rant about stuff.  It's really just a vent, and more than likely not an angry vent... just a vent to get it out of my head and then it's gone.

I don't actually get angry too often, even if I'm saying or typing "WTF?" it's more of me with my mouth hanging wide open and holding back a laugh or smile of "oh my gosh I can't believe this!"  more than an angry, scowling face saying "WTF?"

Do you see the difference?


vent

ˈvent

vented; venting; vents

Definition of vent

transitive verb

1 : to provide with a vent
2a : to serve as a vent for chimneys vent smoke
b : discharge, expel

c : to give often vigorous or emotional expression to vented her frustration on her coworkers
3 : to relieve by means of a vent vented himself in a fiery letter to the editor
intransitive verb

: to relieve oneself by venting something (such as anger) comes home from work and vents to the kids

So, I guess if you are going to stick around Coffee Talking any length of time, you should know that I'm most likely typing out things in a very "OH MY GOSH!" with an ARGH that is more of the exclaiming it while I'm laughing sarcastically at the futility, or stupidity or whatever of something and no... I'm probably not actually angry about something.  But if I AM angry, I'll say it.  I'd say something like "I am SO furious!"  "I am so pissed off right now!"  and even if I do that, it usually dissipates just as quickly (I haven't necessarily forgiven or forgotten, but the heat is gone once vented).

I'm also the kind of person that just needs to vent something out loud (or typed) to someone (anyone!) and then... POOF!  I've let it out.  I've said it out loud, I've talked it out... it's done. And I can go from being angry to being absolutely fine or just a little miffed after that.

I just need to vent and magically that makes it go away.  I love that.  But I know many people aren't like that.  (My husband isn't like that.)  My father is though.  So I take after my Dad in that.... but my Mother is more like my husband.

That got me thinking about venting about issues and realizing that the reason behind venting and the outcome of it, totally depends on the person.

  • Some people angry vent. Some people are venting in a more calm manner. Some are a mixture.
  • Some people just vent out loud as they process the situation.  "Thinking out loud".
  • Some people love the attention and it's not venting to 'let it out' but they are living and loving the deeper issue so they keep rehashing it over and over and telling everyone who will listen and they love the attention and are trying to gain sympathy.  So 'venting' isn't really a descriptive word as venting is a 'release' and then... it should be gone.
  • Venting when you can't actually tell the person who frustrated you or made you angry and you need to hold it in in front of them for one reason or another (like a boss at work, if you value your job! Or a really aggravating stranger you had an interaction with earlier.) 
Venting means you let something 'vent' and release it.
It's not arguing the same thing over and over again and holding on to it.  You let it go.

 ________________________



My husband and one of my three kids doesn't typically vent often and isn't very good at it.  LOL.
They are slower, more methodical thinkers, and they aren't not 'talkative' and chatty like me and 2 of my 3 kids are.

They also have a more difficult time finding a release and tend to let things build up.  The other two kids and I easily and quickly vent something out before it actually builds up, and we almost never are angry about things.  We are also very quick thinkers.  My son and I have incredibly crazy conversations in which my husband watches us like a tennis match.  Our brains kind of work like the speed of light (LOL) and we can not only talk quickly, but carry on a conversation that changes topics and focus in 10 different directions in one minute.  And we follow each others thoughts that quickly so we are never lost.

But we rarely feel the need to repeat or reiterate what has already been said.  You said it once, and everyone 'gets it' and moves on to the next thought, sentence or topic.  This is why my son and I can be on our 4th topic in 2 minutes while my husband is still trying to process what we said 2 minutes earlier.  That is LONG GONE in our minds.

And venting is like that.

So if someone hears you (or reads it) and tries to ask you questions about it 2 hours later, you literally are taken off-guard and have to sit and think back to what you even said, because once that steam was vented, it dissipated and was gone. You didn't hang on to it.  
















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