I totally get the book "Love You Forever" now that my baby is grown... although I still think it's a bit creepy for an old lady to climb through the window of her son's bedroom - ha ha.

Last night my (young adult) son was heading out to go ice fishing.  He sent me a snapchat around 9:30 pm - just as they were getting started -  of his feet standing in front of a crushed and ragged hole in the ice (instead of the nice round ones cut cleanly).   

I was just getting into bed at the time, and looking at the photo of my son's two feet standing in front of the gaping hole down into the icy waters now made the "Mom" in me come out.

While I texted back a good luck fishing wish along with stay warm (LOL) the Mom brain in me was far from my well wishes.  The Mom in me was thinking 

  • "Why don't you have winter boots on?  Your feet are going to freeze!"  
  • "Don't stand so near that hole, the ice could break and you could fall in."  
  • "He should give me the name and phone number of the friend he is fishing with 'just in case' anything happens!" 
  • "If the ice cracked or one fell in and the other tried to help, they could both fall through the ice and no one would know!"  
  • "Is he wearing a winter coat?  I think he only has a sweatshirt on and it's only 15 degrees out!"  (That's about -9.4 c)

I had to pull back and laugh at myself.  I said none of those things.

Once a Mom, always a Mom no matter how old they get.  

As I type this out, I'm reminded of a book given to me by my SIL when he was born.  Most people know of it, as it became very popular.  It's called Love You Forever and I actually didn't like the book much - Oh, I like the sentiment - but I didn't like the repetitiveness of the oddly worded phrase that pretty much is repeated over and over;



"I’ll love you forever,
I’ll like you for always,
as long as I’m living
my baby you’ll be.” 



It was the 'I'll like you for always" phrase that irked me and sounded so 'off' somehow that it bugged me to read it.  (More on that in a minute though, as it doesn't bother me now...I'll tell you why.)

The other thing that I didn't like and all my children at one time or another when we read the book thought was weird is an old lady climbing in the window of a man's bedroom to watch him sleeping.  They thought that was creepy and weird but funny too.  "Mommy why would that old grandma climb through a window to watch him sleep!?"

But I kind of get the book more now as an adult with an adult son than I did as a young Mom with a toddler son.  I used to think you could and would stop worrying so much once they grew up.  Like age 18 or 21 were somehow magic numbers when you could turn your parenting 'off'.  

I didn't realize a Mama's heart and head never really stop worrying about her little ones... even when they are big ones.

Now I do.  I totally do.

I still wouldn't climb through a window of his house to watch him sleep... but when he's visiting our home and I've walked by the guest room or the couch and saw him sleeping, I admit I've stopped briefly, watched him sleep a moment and smiled as my heart burst in my chest and I say a little "Thank you God for my son" before moving on.

Yes...  I'll love him forever, I'll like him for always and yes... as long as I'm living, my baby he'll be

(*The reason that phrase stopped bugging me was I learned the origins of the book was this was a little sing-song type song the author had made up in his head and sang after he and his wife lost two babies at birth.  He later made it into a book and used the phrase.  Ahhh.  Now that totally made sense to me.  With each birth of my own kids I had a random little tune pop into my head and I too made up words to go with it.  As a little song to sing to babies it worked out fine even though when I say the words out loud they are a bit off... just as the 'love you forever, like you forever' sounded a bit off to me.  Now it doesn't... because I understand it came from a little song first.  Just like the songs I made up for my Littles.)



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